Words not only describe the world around us, they reveal the world within us. If we pay attention to how we use words, we may be able to improve that inner world and become happier people. This is especially true when it comes to the verbs to do and to be.
Happiness is the ultimate goal of every human (or should be), but it is not something that you can do, only something that you can be. It is interesting to note that we don’t talk about doing play the way that we talk about doing work. I might do my work, but I simply play. That suggests to me that play is far more likely to lead one to happiness than is work, an observation seemingly true on its face, but one we seem to ignore.
Doing, of course, connotes all kinds of action. We do work and we do practice and in this age we even do lunch. We greet one another with “How ya doin’?” which is an indication that we are really inquiring into each other’s activity level. A common response, one regarded as entirely appropriate, might be, “Oh, man, I’m so busy.” If someone were to answer, “Oh, man, I’m so happy,” we would regard that almost as a non-sequitur. This is because we tend to confuse doing with being, and at our own emotional peril.
Our guidance counselors asked us what we wanted to be and we all answered with talk about the job that we planned to do. The correct answer, of course, was happy, but we spent all of our time preparing to do, so it’s no wonder that we got that answer wrong.
We go through Life making “to do” lists, but while it might strike the ear as odd, we need to start making “to be” lists. “Do the dishes” is an example of something that might be on the former list and it is important in a general sort of way. Think of what should be on that latter list, however; those entries are downright imperative. Such a list may read something like the following:
- Be patient
- Be kind
- Be thoughtful
- Be encouraging
- Be happy
Words create reality, especially our inner reality. After all, love doesn’t exist until you say it does. Next time you find yourself talking about all the things you must do, make sure that you consider all the things you must be.
Austin Gisriel 
You are on the money with this post. I have been with BGE for going on 34 years now. I am proud to say there was a time I couldn’t spell dispatcher… Now I are one!
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As long as you can spell “BGE.”
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A great reminder and wonderful advice to all.
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Thanks, Larry!
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Aw, Austin. Now you’re making me think….which is definitely not a “be”.
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Maybe your thinking will result in a state of well-being, Jerry!
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During a wedding ceremony, it is common for the bride and groom to respond to wedding vows with “I do.” Hmmm. So in actuality the correct response is “I be.”?
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Interesting, David. Of course, we are promising to do certain things such as “trust” and “love,” but notice marriage is not something we do. We ARE married, but “to marry” is an active verb only when performing the ceremony. We enter into a state of marriage. Maybe the officiant should ask, “Will you be happy with this person for the rest of your life?” (For those single people out there, “I hope so,” in answer to this question gets you disqualified.)
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“i’ll give it my best shot” is also a disqualifying answer. DBS
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It should be, although it seems to be more acceptable these days.
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Then I guess the saying must be true: “Aint, Aint in the Dictionary, because it aint proper!”
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“Ain’t” is most likely the missing contraction for “am not.” There–you learned something!
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Hmm… After all these years, I thought a “contraction” was something women experience during labor!
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