People have asked us, after a little over a week in our new house, if we are “all” moved in.

No. Not, “all.”

We still have a “few” boxes to unpack, and by “few” I mean about 10,000 or so. This photo

Somewhere underneath there, is our finished basement.

of the basement was taken the day after we got here, and very little of that pile remains unpacked 12 days later. In fact, we have already taken 106 boxes, by my count, to the dump and there are another 16 awaiting the same fate out in the garage. Plus all those

boxes in the basement. The plain and simple fact is that we brought too much stuff to our new house, which means plain and simply, that we kept too much stuff at the old house. In fact, our new house looks as if the old house threw up in it.

Therefore, as a public service announcement designed to prevent house-vomiting, I offer the following advice for the next time you move:

Pack all your jewelry, cash, and family photos (throw away the duplicates). Then get six boxes and pack your favorite objects, clothes, and your baseball card collection (sell the duplicates). Take the rest of your stuff—yes, all of it—pile it on the street corner, and then put a big Free sign on the pile. Depending on the neighborhood from which you’re moving, even the sign will be gone the next morning. With the money that you just saved in moving-expenses, you can replace half of your missing stuff. Don’t worry about the other half. Most of it was useless or redundant, and the rest you forgot you had anyway. You will now be “all” moved in in an hour instead of a year and be free to immediately enjoy your new home.

This has been a public service announcement.