At a recent graduation brunch, I was sitting next to a young lady at the Queen Street Diner in Strasburg who ordered scrapple. After it arrived, she inquired what was in it. Her mistake should be readily apparent: You don’t ask what’s in scrapple AFTER you have it sitting in front of you. Upon receiving an answer, she didn’t eat a bite.


Just say “no.”

Look, if you’re going to order some pig product, you have to understand something: There are all kinds of ovine delicacies including pork chops, pork roast, pulled pork, ribs, and bacon. These all have individual names that are suggestive of what they are. Then, too, you have hot dogs and sausage, both of which are flavorful even if their respective characters are somewhat shady. Kind of like that neighbor who ran an import/export business and always had cash in his pocket. When he bought you and all the neighborhood kids a root beer, you didn’t question it, you just enjoyed it.

Scrapple is a different matter, however. It has “crap” in the middle of its name. Make this a rule: If a food name has “crap” in its name somewhere, assume that the food does, too, and don’t order it. And if you even think of ordering puddin’ without being certain that you’re willing to eat stuff that isn’t even good enough to go into scrapple, then think again.

You’re welcome, and bon appėtit.

About Austin Gisriel

You know the guy that records a baseball game from the West Coast in July and doesn't watch it until January just to see baseball in the winter? That's me. I'm a writer always in search of a good story, baseball or otherwise.
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4 Responses to S-crap-ple

  1. Jerry Lane says:

    But Austin, I LIKE scrapple! Haven’t had any for years, probably due to not eating many breakfasts out at country dining spots. I am sure it’s full of stuff that is heart stopping and artery clogging, not unlike sausage. Speaking of sausage, have you read Michener’s Centennial? There is a wonderful description of country sausage making, makes my mouth water just thinking about it. Whoever said sausage and law making are on a par is most uninformed.


  2. buffycooper says:

    Great advice! Growing up on a farm, we didn’t ask what (or which bovine, poultry, or ovine pet) was in our food. (Hey, when you name your pet pig “Pork Chops,” you have to know that pets are still working animals, so don’t get too emotionally attached.) We were told scrapple was good, and we trusted that was true. (And with apple butter, it was quite tasty.)


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