Old Math, Big Numbers, and a Little Baseball

I have a little baseball news for my baseball fans and a couple of observations for everyone.

Tackling the title subjects in reverse order, I had the pleasure of meeting Dane Anthony at the Hagerstown Suns home opener on April 15. Dane, the retiring sheriff of Franklin County, PA threw out the ceremonial first pitch, which may not seem like a big deal, except that it was he who threw out the actual first pitch in Suns’ history back in 1981. He’s the kind of guy whom you like as soon as you meet, and you will meet him if you read the post that I put up on Seamheads.com. Just click here for the interview.

As we all know, baseball is a game of numbers. Apparently, so is celebrity divorce. It seems that Carey Lowell is divorcing Richard Gere and they are “engaged in a nasty fight” over Gere’s fortune, estimated to be $100 million. (Really? Athletes make too much money?) I’m sure that this fight is being fought for spite, but if I’m the judge, I would render the following settlement: Since Gere is 65, he keeps $35 million. That’s $1,000,000 a year until he’s 100. Lowell is 54, so she gets $46 million based on the same principle. That leaves $19 million which as the judge, I will keep as payment for having to listen to two jackasses who can’t figure out how to split $100 million.

Speaking of numbers, I have discovered a mathematical formula, to wit:

58 years + 12 ounces of iced tea + 40 miles traveled = 1 immediate visit to the bathroom upon arrival.

This is not “new” math. This is definitely “old” math. The numbers may need to be refined and the beverage variable my change, but I’m certain that this formula will hold water, which anyone experiencing what this formula represents will not.

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About Austin Gisriel

You know the guy that records a baseball game from the West Coast in July and doesn't watch it until January just to see baseball in the winter? That's me. I'm a writer always in search of a good story, baseball or otherwise.
This entry was posted in Baseball in General, Life is Weird and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Old Math, Big Numbers, and a Little Baseball

  1. rdpostsr says:

    Ha! Interesting way to settle the Gere’s divorce

    Like

  2. Don Hoover says:

    Based on the last part of this post, the formula you put out there, (Years, ounces, Bathroom), I always say, just call me Pee Pee, I’m all “Urine”

    Like

  3. Don Hoover says:

    Yeah, these comments should have been kept for the next Keys Game!

    Like

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